From Whence Does Bitterness Come?

I read these verses today:

Isaiah 38:13-17

I thought until the morning: 

He will break all my bones like a lion;

You made and end of me day and night.

I chirp like a swallow or a crane;

I moan like a dove.

My eyes grow weak looking upward.

Lord, I am oppressed; support me.

What can I say?

He has spoken to me,

and He Himself has done it.

I walk along slowly all my years

because of the bitterness of my soul,

Lord, because of these promises

people live,

and in all of them is the life of my spirit 

as well;

You have restored me to health

and let me live.

Indeed, it was for my own welfare

that I had such great bitterness;

but Your love has delivered me from the Pit of destruction,

for You have thrown all my sins behind Your back.

I noticed several things about bitterness. First of all, bitterness hinders our ability to live a life that glorifies God to the upmost. Secondly, bitterness, just like every sin, is rooted in pride. It comes from a heart that is still struggling with complete surrender. This heart still wants to be god at least in certain situations. It wants to still have a few "rights" at least sometimes. 

Being conformed into the image of Christ means day by day surrendering the "rights" for which we so quickly grasp. Our "right" to be happy; our "right" to be appreciated; our "right" to be loved; our "right" to even pursue OUR dreams. 

How contrary is this idea to everything Disney and the rest of the world teaches.

I love how this passage shows how futile our bitterness is in the face of an almighty creator who is sovereign in our lives. He directs our steps with all wisdom and love and purpose for His glory. Our bitterness is an excellent tool the enemy uses to either stop people from coming to Christ or, if they do, to make them as ineffective as possible so to rob God of all the glory he can. Nonetheless, we serve a God who has already won the battle. Regardless of the temptations that come our way, HE is sovereign to work His purposes in our lives. 

Yes, we do have to daily surrender our "rights." No, it is not fun. Yes, there are days when I want to be angry because  "I have the right to be angry." Or, there are days when I want to dwell on the fact that certain things have not turned out as I expected because "I have the right to have some say in MY life." Yes, there are days when I want to be preoccupied with worry and fret over the future because "I have the right to have dreams and ambitions." Nonetheless, as miserably happy as my sin makes me, it is an impossible burden to bear. 

The insurmountable joy that comes from repenting and seeking forgiveness for my bitterness is incomparable. The song of my heart truly is: 

but Your love has delivered me from the Pit of destruction,

for You have thrown all my sins behind Your back.

By living in the joy of the spirit and with complete trust in a good and wise Father it is possible to walk through life not collecting the bitterness our experiences render, but giving to others the grace that has been so freely bestowed upon us. 

I am a slow learner. 

But I have a Father who desires for me to live in the fullness of His joy. 

Yet I daily spit in his face by my unbelief. 

But daily, he is faithful to forgive.