Bikes and Canaries

So, the teeny-bopper phrase, "I suck at life" actually perfectly captures my life here in Italy. I can sit and chat the night away at an aperitivo place, but don't ask me to do anything practical.

After my last fiasco at Esselunga, I haven't bothered to darken it's sliding doors until I realized last night that I had nothing to eat. Nothing. As in, I was "getting creative" 5 days ago and now my choices were some capers and dijon mustard. So, I grabbed my magical shopping bag, made a list, and hopped on my bike.

Normally, I force myself to carry a basket rather than using the cart so to ensure I don't get too much stuff to carry back on my bike. Today, however, I was feeling lazy and actually had a euro coin to unlock a cart. As I was filling my cart with everything I would need for incoming company and a big movie night at my house, I was thinking,

"How am I going to get this all on my bike?"

"...Nah, I'll figure that out later." replied my better half.

Got through the line and finally got all my bags out to my Camry...I mean bike.

"Ohhhhh crap." I said outloud to the gypsy lady begging for money beside me as I stared at the impossible task before me.

I then loaded the huge bag into the basket behind my bike and thankfully pulled out a bungee cord (cause I carry one with me at all times. Not really. I just randomly had it in a bag) and secured it.

"So redneck." I thought.

Then, I repeated the same for the front basket. By the time I stacked the toilet paper on top, I could seriously barely see over the top.

Then, I looked down and saw two more stuffed bags.

"HOW IN THE WORLD?????"

The gypsy lady stopped begging to enjoy her afternoon entertainment at this point, by the way.

I hopped on the bike and placed the two, full bags of groceries on either side of the handles.

"Okay, I can do this."

It took me a second to get on the bike and get the 75 lbs of groceries balanced...but I finally got it. And, by the way, you know you've done well if the ITALIANS are impressed by how you have packed something in!

Here I am, riding down a very posh Via Washington praying I don't die and remembering the good old days of Camries and Krogers.

Then, some Italian guy on a motorino slows down beside me and says something to me in Italian.

I thought, "Um, did he just ask me if I like canaries?? What in the world?"

Then I looked down and realized that I was wearing a bright yellow shirt and balancing a ridiculous circus on my bike of bright yellow Esselunga bags.

I looked back at him with a "you-are-such-an-jerk" look. Then, I told him I didn't speak italian and sped off.

Yea, we always dream of telling the cop "no hablo ingles" or whatever the spanish phrase is....and I finally got to do it in real life Italian style.

At least that was what I was amusing myself with while I was trying to keep my "ticked off self" contained.

Make it all the way back to my door. (I had to take the long way, by the way, because there was NO way I was going to let the bakery folks see me and tease me about it for weeks to come!)

Get off the bike and start to push it up the curb to my door. As I do, I hit the side of the curb and the entire thing falls over. I had tomatoes and zucchini rolling in the street and I was trying to convince myself that it was SOOOO funny and would make SUCH a good blogpost. Four hours later I am finally "un-ticked off" and able to write it out.

It is days such as this when a girl must make a pizza for herself with zucchini flowers and fresh mozzarella and remember that she has peace with God though Christ. As a result, her joy is unwavered by circumstances. Instead, those circumstances should draw her heart to reflecting on One who will never leave or forsake her. That is what life is all about...whether I suck at the practical things or not.