an examined life

Apparently I am a Christmas Tree Murderer

2009-12-31T05:04:00.000-08:00

little bit of bragging rights

2009-12-31T05:00:00.000-08:00

Torta di Mele -- Apple Cake

This is one of my favorites and I just made it for the first time myself. Italian desserts are really light and surprisingly not very sweet so not to hide the natural taste of the fruit they often put in them. Their cakes are also not as spongy as our cakes which makes them have a different taste all together.

Christmas Eve in Germany

2009-12-31T03:21:00.000-08:00

Latest Photoessay: The Art of Expression

2009-12-09T07:59:00.000-08:00

This is the latest photoessay finally finished! The purpose of this essay is to capture the way Italians express themselves through their facial expressions and gestures. I love the way they draw you in by the way they outwardly express themselves. All Americans should not even try to do it because we just look stupid. It must be a genetic ability.

When I get the prints back, I will arrange them in overlapping, random order as an "explosion" of animation and expression in a glass frame.

La Famiglia Luker

2009-11-04T10:44:00.001-08:00

Milan vs. Real Madrid

2009-11-04T10:37:00.001-08:00

Photos stolen from Jason.

Went with a group of friends to see Milan vs. Real Madrid. It was a great game though ending 1-1. It was quite strange to see Kaká in a different uniform back in San Siro and at the end of the game, he saluted the fans and they started singing his song again. Crazy how die-hard the fans are!

Great shot, Jason. Kaká hugging Ronaldinho at the end of the game.

We were packed in TIGHT. Unbelievable how many people were there. San Siro Stadium seats 80,000 and the game was sold out.

Asking Why

2009-10-14T17:16:00.000-07:00

When I was little and I heard something painful or disagreeable from one of my parents, the first word to come from my mouth was always, "WHY???" Now, whenever I experience a loss or trial or feel for someone close to me who experiences a loss or trial, I find the immediate question that comes from within my heart to the Lord is "Why?" This is not uncommon, nor is this response unique to me. Rather, it is a natural response from human beings who were originally created to worship and obey God in a perfect sanctuary where they could fully know their Creator. Death and loss were never part of the picture God created and thus not part of our original design. We were created for life and wholeness, not for death or pain.

In reading through the book of Job, I came across this verse that so clearly captures a time transcending question about why bad things happen.

"WHY is light given to one burdened with grief,

and life to those whose existence is bitter,

who wait for death,

but it does not come,

and search for it more than for hidden treasure,

who are filled with much joy

and are glad when they reach the grave?"

Job 3:20-22

This question sounds all too familiar from my own thoughts as well as the thoughts of those around me. Why would God allow a child to be born with a birth defect that will make their life miserable all their days? Why would God allow torment after torment to fall on hundreds of humans in captivity all around the world? Why would He allow natural disasters to separate loved ones from each other? Why would He allow the death of those who do not know Him?

Obviously, we could go through a big philosophical discussion on the problem of pain and evil in the world. We could talk about "gratuitous evil" and hash out the particulars of divine sovereignty and human free will. While the discussion would be interesting, I think something else could be more "helpful."

I heard a speaker at a conference I recently attended rightly explain that in the book of Job, God had the perfect opportunity to explain the problem of evil. The theme of the book would have flowed perfectly -- but he doesn't. Instead, He responds with chapters and chapters telling us about His character. This seems to tell us that He knows what we need the most in difficult, questioning times is not necessarily an explanation, but revelation. We need not answers, but presence.

Another interesting thought to consider is God's absolute sovereignty over Satan. Satan does not simply act within divine permission, but he actually is acting to fulfill God's good purposes! What he means for evil, God means for good. His knowledge and wisdom of each minute detail of every one million situations of every second far surpass our knowledge OR Satan's! Satan will attempt to hinder God's people but his attempts will only fulfill God's secure purposes to make His name great. Throughout scripture and history, Satan's attempt to crush the Church have only served to further it -- often more rapidly! His attempt to crush individuals who are clothed in Christ's righteousness only serves to give them patience and hope.

Sometimes I wonder even if we had the explanation of the problem of evil if we would still struggle. Often I think how amazing it would have been to have seen Jesus, witnessed his ministry first hand, eaten with him as the disciples did. Then I remember that though the disciples spend every hour of every day with him during his ministry, they too doubted. Judas was so filled with unbelief he was willing to betray him. Thirty pieces of silver are obviously of more worth when you don't believe Jesus is who He says He is. Thomas doubted. Peter betrayed Him THREE times! I don't think having the answers given directly to us or even empirically "knowing" what our eyes don't see will help us deal when family members tragically die, marriages fall apart, finances don't add up, and the future is an abyss of uncertainty. It is important for us to wrestle with these ideas rationally since, by definition, our faith is not "blind." However, during my time living in a new culture, I have learned that the things that sound good intellectually during sunny days often seem futile and shallow during the stormy ones. Both are important.

Thankfully, God has blessed us with His word by which we can know HIM. We can have revelation and presence while we wait for His return to restore all things and make our faith sight. The truths we know are that God is sovereign. His power is beyond comprehension yet his care is intimate. He is the creator and sustainer. His purposes will be accomplished.

I love this quote from Tozer:

“With the goodness of God to desire our highest welfare, the wisdom of God to plan it, and the power of God to achieve it, what do we lack? Surely we are the most favored of all creatures.”

Homemade Cleaning Products

2009-10-13T09:41:00.000-07:00

This website has lots of recipes for homemade cleaning products. I have really enjoyed doing this and have had great success!!

http://www.treehuggingfamily.com/25-safe-non-toxic-homemade-cleaning-supplies/

Between the recipes here and the other blog, I've gotten a good system down. I still have not been able to figure out what to do for laundry detergent, but I am hoping to purchase some soap nuts and have them shipped to my friend's APO address in England.

For now, the best combination I have found is peroxide and the all purpose cleaner. You cannot mix peroxide with the cleaner...unless you want instant wall extension in your house. But, I keep them in two different spray bottles, and spray one and then the other. This works AMAZINGLY well as a bleach substitute. I have a pair of white sheets that I love but that get dirty quickly. I spray one layer of the peroxide and then one layer of the all purpose cleaner before putting them in the washing machine. This also works perfectly for my floors. Living here with the windows open all the time takes quite a toll on my floors. I spray the floors with the peroxide and then go over it with a bucket of warm water with vinegar, baking soda, and some tea tree oil. You would not believe how much grime I get up.

The best part is it is cheap and natural. You don't even have packaging waste and it is totally convenient.

You gotta try it.

You Guys Gotta Try This

2009-10-08T04:23:00.000-07:00

Grilled Tomato, Brie and Basil Sandwich. A-Mazing. All of these ingredients are extremely cheap here and it made the BEST lunch. I used two slices of the bread I have been making, layered it with brie and tomato slices and then topped it with a bunch of fresh basil. I grilled it in my grill pan.

Sorry I don't have a picture. I ate it too fast. And, it didn't look to pretty because I was trying to flip it and talk on the phone in Italian. Cannot do those two things at the same time.

Lieder Love and Mushiness

2009-10-07T06:21:00.000-07:00

Bikes and Canaries

2009-10-06T07:58:00.000-07:00

So, the teeny-bopper phrase, "I suck at life" actually perfectly captures my life here in Italy. I can sit and chat the night away at an aperitivo place, but don't ask me to do anything practical.

After my last fiasco at Esselunga, I haven't bothered to darken it's sliding doors until I realized last night that I had nothing to eat. Nothing. As in, I was "getting creative" 5 days ago and now my choices were some capers and dijon mustard. So, I grabbed my magical shopping bag, made a list, and hopped on my bike.

Normally, I force myself to carry a basket rather than using the cart so to ensure I don't get too much stuff to carry back on my bike. Today, however, I was feeling lazy and actually had a euro coin to unlock a cart. As I was filling my cart with everything I would need for incoming company and a big movie night at my house, I was thinking,

"How am I going to get this all on my bike?"

"...Nah, I'll figure that out later." replied my better half.

Got through the line and finally got all my bags out to my Camry...I mean bike.

"Ohhhhh crap." I said outloud to the gypsy lady begging for money beside me as I stared at the impossible task before me.

I then loaded the huge bag into the basket behind my bike and thankfully pulled out a bungee cord (cause I carry one with me at all times. Not really. I just randomly had it in a bag) and secured it.

"So redneck." I thought.

Then, I repeated the same for the front basket. By the time I stacked the toilet paper on top, I could seriously barely see over the top.

Then, I looked down and saw two more stuffed bags.

"HOW IN THE WORLD?????"

The gypsy lady stopped begging to enjoy her afternoon entertainment at this point, by the way.

I hopped on the bike and placed the two, full bags of groceries on either side of the handles.

"Okay, I can do this."

It took me a second to get on the bike and get the 75 lbs of groceries balanced...but I finally got it. And, by the way, you know you've done well if the ITALIANS are impressed by how you have packed something in!

Here I am, riding down a very posh Via Washington praying I don't die and remembering the good old days of Camries and Krogers.

Then, some Italian guy on a motorino slows down beside me and says something to me in Italian.

I thought, "Um, did he just ask me if I like canaries?? What in the world?"

Then I looked down and realized that I was wearing a bright yellow shirt and balancing a ridiculous circus on my bike of bright yellow Esselunga bags.

I looked back at him with a "you-are-such-an-jerk" look. Then, I told him I didn't speak italian and sped off.

Yea, we always dream of telling the cop "no hablo ingles" or whatever the spanish phrase is....and I finally got to do it in real life Italian style.

At least that was what I was amusing myself with while I was trying to keep my "ticked off self" contained.

Make it all the way back to my door. (I had to take the long way, by the way, because there was NO way I was going to let the bakery folks see me and tease me about it for weeks to come!)

Get off the bike and start to push it up the curb to my door. As I do, I hit the side of the curb and the entire thing falls over. I had tomatoes and zucchini rolling in the street and I was trying to convince myself that it was SOOOO funny and would make SUCH a good blogpost. Four hours later I am finally "un-ticked off" and able to write it out.

It is days such as this when a girl must make a pizza for herself with zucchini flowers and fresh mozzarella and remember that she has peace with God though Christ. As a result, her joy is unwavered by circumstances. Instead, those circumstances should draw her heart to reflecting on One who will never leave or forsake her. That is what life is all about...whether I suck at the practical things or not.

YESSSSS!

2009-10-02T00:49:00.000-07:00

Six months here and I FINALLY feel I can express my sense of humor in Italian! I mean, it's not that good in English, but it has been killing me not being able to make people laugh...except AT me! I was having an aperitivo with some great new girlfiends when I realized this. It felt good. It felt good.

Still celebrating the small victories and still counting the red pants to keep me going....

Frugal, Natural, and Environmentally Friendly

2009-09-29T01:07:00.000-07:00

When I first arrived here, I had to buy whatever I could find and understand. I was not able to search for healthy foods (like kefir or fresh ingredients to make bread) and I had no idea which brands of products were the best. I "made do" for 6 months but now have officially taken up the task to figure out how to live frugally, naturally, and environmentally friendly in Milan. I asked the Lord to show me these 3 things specifically and felt quite overwhelmed, thinking I could maybe achieve 2 but definitely not all 3 since they "seem" to be mutually exclusive -- especially in this city.

Then, a friend of mine walked into the tuesday night study with a glass jar of what looked like something fermented at the bottom. I jumped up and asked her what it was. She said it was "Water Kefir grains." I had never heard of water kefir and had been searching and searching for kefir and could only find little cups of it for a pretty high cost at a natural foods stand. She gave me the starter jar, which was such a blessing because the only way you can get grains over here is if you know someone who has them. You can't really buy them. I took them home and started reading more about Water Kefir. Come to find out, it is, in a sense, better than regular milk-based kefir because the ingredients cost hardly anything and larger quantities can be consumed. I have been drinking about a half liter to a liter every day and have noticed SUCH a difference in my immune system, digestion, and even energy level. The greatest thing is the only cost involved is a couple tablespoons of cane sugar and 1 piece of dry fruit each day.

As I was searching for instructions on the Water Kefir, I came across this blog:

www.passionatehomemaking.com

I started exploring and realized that the lady who writes it is a young mom, previously homeschooled, who now is married with two kids. She seems to have such a great heart for the Lord and I think views her natural living style in a biblical and balanced way. Believe it or not, the theme of her blog is how to be frugal, natural and environmentally friendly! I was shocked! She has everything from information on soaking grains, to recipes, to explanations on how to make your own household cleaning supplies. The greatest part is all of her ingredients are, for the most part, basic items that I can find here!

I did the math and realized that I could save almost 50 euro a month just by using her recipes for cleaning supplies. (for me, that's big...that's like 5 aperitivos with friends or an easyjet ticket to somewhere in Europe!) I also realized I could probably live 6 months longer by cutting the chemicals. And, I can obviously be a better steward of the earth God has entrusted to us to care and preserve by using baking powder instead of formaldehyde and ethylbenzene. So, as of last week, I have completely switched over to my own cleaning products except for detergent. For that, she recommends using something called Soap Nuts but I think you have to order them from the States and, not knowing how long they last, I don't know if it would be worth it to have someone ship them over for me. I bought several plastic spray bottles at the store and am trying different things. If anyone in Milan hears a chemical explosion in the Pagano area, I'm sorry. Chemistry was never my strongest subject.

Here's what I use for my all-purpose and floor cleaner:

1 liter of water

1 c. vinegar (we can only get apple vinegar here unless I wanted to mop my floors with red wine vinegar. It works fine but I just have to go over it with a wet rag)

2-3 tbsp. baking soda

2 tsp. tea tree oil (I know tea tree is a disinfectant but I am mostly using it for the fresh, clean smell especially since the apple vinegar has a smell that I don't love)

I used it on my floors yesterday and it worked GREAT! I actually think it works better than the floor cleaner I was using.

The other big change I have made is I am now making my own bread. I had the hardest time finding bread here. The "pane integrale" or "multicereale" here is not 100% whole wheat and my stomach just wasn't handling it after 6 months. I found a great German bakery that has WONDERFUL whole wheat bread, but realized I was spending 12 euro a week on two small loaves of bread. I decided to try to make my own even if I had no access to fresh ground flour. I found spelt and kammut in the grocery store here. My dear friend, Megan, gave me her recipe and after a few tries, I finally got the hang of it! I am using olive oil instead of butter since it is much cheaper here and it turns out perfectly. I almost think the olive oil makes it less crumbly, especially since we don't have dough enhancer here. Between knowing which ingredients to use and where to find them for the best prices, I can make a loaf for about 2 euro. HOWEVER, gas and electricity bills are outrageous so I might be in for a surprise next month when I see what kind of damage using my oven every other day has done. But, I cannot tell you what a difference this has made also in my overall health and energy level. I also laughed out loud when I tried it for the first time and said, "Oh my goodness! This tastes so AMERICAN!" I hadn't realized how different the bread is here and it was so nice to have a soft, warm, honey sweetened loaf! If you haven't tried to make bread for yourself, try it! It is SO easy and really doesn't take that much time or brain juice. (trust me, I'm still battling reflexive verbs, indirect objects, this stupid "farcela" and all the different places I am supposed to insert a random "ci" and don't have much brain juice to spare.)

So, that is my latest task. I am so grateful the Lord is answering my prayers in really unexpected ways! It's certainly a challenge and can sometimes be frustrating.

Case and point: I went to Esselunga, one of the main supermarkets here, to see if they had Castile soap. I looked in the cleaning aisle and didn't see it. Then, I moved to the bath and body aisle and saw nothing either. There was an Italian grandmother standing next to me and I thought to myself, "Ah, I'll ask her!" Bad idea. I explained to her that I was looking for a type of soap that is very pure and without chemicals. You can use it to wash your body or to clean your clothes or your house. (I love how I explain things in Italian like a 7 year old.) She looks at me and says, "Oh, that's disgusting! We in Italia NEVER use the same soap to clean our bodies and to clean our floors!" (yep, big hand gestures and a "puke-like" expression on her face)

"Nooooo, Signora!" I told her I must have explained badly.

She interrupts me and says, "Come here. I'll show you."

She then takes me to the cleaning aisle and says, "okay, these soaps you use to wash your clothes. These soaps you use to wash your dishes. These soaps you use to wash your floors." She then made me smell at least 20 different bottles as she was giving me a refresher on the concept of detergent verses all-purpose.

I just sat there and held my tongue.

When the stock boy asked what was going on, the lady kindly explained, "This girl is from America and they must do things very differently there. I'm explaining to her how we do things in Italia."

Again, just smiled and held my tongue.

Thirty minutes later, I escaped the Nonna and was finally checking out.

The worst part of the story was when I was venting to Allyson later, she mentions that the Italian version of Castile soap is called Marsiglia soap. Why I did not just ask her first, I have no idea.

If any of you have any other ideas that uphold these three "values," let me know!! I'll be sure to post as I go just in case any of you wind up in Milan battling Grandmothers in Esselunga and trying to keep yourself detoxed from all the necessary Vape use.

Six Months Already?

2009-09-28T07:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, you read right. I have been in Italy for 6 months as of yesterday. So hard to believe. I took a stroll down memory lane while laying on a blanket at Parco Treno listening to my italian friends chatting. Here are some things I remember:

1. I remember saying goodbye to all my friends and family in when what seemed like "all of a sudden" Italy was upon me. I remember a really sad last hug from the Elledges in the D.C. airport when we realized that we were not on the same flight to Frankfurt and I had to board in 5 minutes. I remember sobbing all the way across the pond with my mind spinning, though, at the same time, being so thrilled to go to the place where my heart was already firmly planted.

2. I remember the big "welcome committee" at the airport with a sign that said, "Benvenuta, Amber!" that my ragazzo, Jake, made for me.

3. I remember dragging all 4 of my 50 lb. bags up my 85 stairs with Jason. Very well.

4. I remember my first day I took the tram from my house to the Greenwiches house and didn't get lost! (which is great since their stop is the last one and it is impossible to get lost...)

5. I remember my first aperitivo night. I also remember my second when I tried to speak some Italian and I thanked an Italian guy for exchanging tongues with me.

6. I remember the first time I went into the bakery beneath my house and all I could say was, "pane," "si," and "grazie." I also remember when I was actually able to "talk" to them for the first time and the lady shouted to the workers in the back, "She can talk now!!!"

7. I remember my first day of language school....and also when I forgot to take my name tag off that said "Amber, USA" and unknowingly ported it throughout the city. I remember the first time I felt like I was able to have a real and meaningful "conversation" with someone.

8. I remember my first road trip through Switzerland and Germany and the way my jaw was on the floor of the car the entire time we were driving through the alps.

9. I remember when I learned that you have 5 seconds to drain the pasta before tossing it in the sauce.

10. I remember lots of Carrefour and Ikea runs with Allyson.

11. I remember a pretty awesome Cinque Terre trip.

12. I remember meeting a great, new friend randomly in Parco Sempione.

13. I remember riding my bike in the city for the first time. Whew. I also remember when I got the hang of it and learned to "claim my rights" as a bike rider.

14. I remember when I no longer felt overwhelmed in Esselunga and was actually able to read labels instead of "praying and placing in the basket." Who knows what I have eaten...

15. I remember the first time I prayed in Italian.

16. I remember many embarrassing language mistakes. Many.

17. I remember shooting my first photo essay with Mario.

18. I remember having over 20 mosquito bites just on my arms in June before I decided to shave a couple years off the end of my life by intoxicating my house with Vape.

19. I CAN'T remember how many gelatos and caffes I have consumed.

15. I remember when I realized Milan felt like "home." And it still does.

I know it's "just" six months...but the difference between 5 and 6 months to me is the difference between "a few months" and actually feeling like I LIVE here. Living here has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I can hands-down say has been one of the biggest blessings --if not THE biggest blessing -- of my life. I have seen God's grace in so many new ways as a sovereign protector and provider, as well as an intimate companion and guide. I am most undeservedly blessed. The verse he laid on my heart the night before I left, Psalm 73:23-24, has yet to have a day in which it was not recited...and also not seen to be absolutely true.

And the cool thing is:

IT'S NOT OVER YET!!!

Working Through Culture Shock

2009-09-26T14:18:00.000-07:00

My brother is studying in England for the next year and it has been interesting to see how he has gone through culture shock there. I feel like Oprah since I am always saying, "Patrick, that's totally normal." Two days ago he said he has been listening to country music on repeat all day, which he always used to make fun of, and is thinking about getting a confederate flag tag for his bike.

Here's today's example:

Patrick

so.. that "cutie" english girl just started a chat with me, and then called me her "pet american"

I haven't given her the time of day at ALL

11:14pm

11:15pmAmber

I think the "pet american" thing is not as demeaning as you think it is!

it's a very "british" thing to say

11:16pmPatrick

oh, okay

then I can relax, right? I was about to dump her in "Area 51"

11:16pmAmber

relax

Patrick

Amber

11:25pmAmber

what

11:25pmPatrick

she just told me that she adores American accents

11:25pmAmber

well, good for her

A Month In Review

2009-08-31T04:00:00.000-07:00

Well, it's about time I caught the blog up on the past month's adventures! The month of August is a ghost town in Milan as all the Italians close their stores and leave for vacation for the entire month. I was wisely advised to get out of the city lest I go crazy.

So, the Greenwiches and I loaded down the Multipla....literally. You can't really see it here, but there was not a spare two inches of space!

Thus we embarked on another road trip through Switzerland, Austria and Germany. The scenery wasn't bad.

This is around the boarder of Germany and Austria, but technically in Austria if I remember correctly.

This was our hotel. The Germans know how to create a comfortable place to stay. It wasn't stiff and formal like many hotels I have stayed in. The rooms were so comfortable with really nice bedding and the food was a-mazing.

And this was the view from our hotel. It took my breath away every time I saw it and I stood in wonder of God's grace.

Another demonstration of God's grace were all the wonderful friends I was able to spend tons of time with!! It was SO amazing to be with a whole group of Americans who live in Europe and are experiencing very similar things every day.

G.I. Jane with her baby, Noah.

Saw this on a walk and thought the girl looked JUST like Heidi from afar.

The German houses had flowers cascading. So cute.

Yea, I would totally live in this. Especially if it meant I could sleep on one of their down blankets every night and eat German breakfast every morning. (with Italian coffee though...)

We just went on a simple walk and were assaulted by unbelievable scenery wherever we went.

Taylor and Josh, two of my fellow Intercambio colleagues in Rome.

Me and my dear friend, Christie, who lives in Belgium.

Wonderful friend, accountability parter, and the only one who truly understands my seminary jokes. She also lives in Vienna and sings opera.

Jason and Emily...gotta watch those Neopolitans. They have good pasta but I'm told you will die from trying to cross the street before you can eat it. Might make a trip down there to see if it is true.

Three more blessings to me: Christina, who makes me laugh and also speaks truth and encouragement into my life, Addison, her way cool daughter, and Libby-licious, her other crazy girl.

My friend Jen who lives in Bonn and is a professional massage therapist. I totally hang out with the right crowd. Regardless of her amazing skill-set that I totally take advantage of, she is one of my dearest friends.

Chatting after one of our German feasts. Del and Timon in the back live in Marseilles and Spain.

Going on a walk to a German-style agriturismo.

Amy is my artist friend who lives in Dresden, Germany and Sarah lives in Belgium with Christie.

They really liked the Jello shots.

and S'MORES made with German chocolate and marshmallows from the States. Two amazing worlds collide.

Check out that spread!

Sarah and Christie.

Me and my boyfriend.

Intercambio folks.

WHEW. So, after all that fun, I caught a plane to Bristol, England, to spend some time with Caitlin and Artur Lieder!

Our first excursion was to lovely Bath.

And guess what??? They have Ben and Jerry's in England! While there is NOTHIN wrong with Italian gelato, it was nice to taste some familiar flavors that took me back to my late night runs with Bekah during our college days.

Baby Gabby.

More of the city.

Felt like I was in Northanger Abbey...which I finally read.

Photoshoot for Lael. This little one speaks German like a pro. And to her "German/English ear" Italian sounded hilarious. So, the trick to getting her to belly laugh for the camera was for me to talk to her in Italian.

We went to Erin's for a big, fat American meal of bbq ribs, grilled chicken, potato salad, peach cobbler, etc, etc, etc. It was SOOO yummy! It was nice to eat a big meal and sit around and enjoy each other's company and watch the kids play.

Aidan is a mess!

Joshua is really growing!

So is Gillian!

And Lael sure loves her cousins.

Then, we went to Wales to see Tintern Abbey.

I took advantage of the amazing scenery.

Totally a Papa's girl.

Gorgeous Abbey.

And....the grand finale. I got to welcome my brother to Europe!!!! We did not think it was going to happen since he was still waiting on his visa while I was up there waiting for him. Then, at the last minute, it arrives and he hopped on a plan. He arrived at the train station where I was waiting one hour before I left for the airport! We we so grateful for that one hour since it was much more than we were expecting. Another manifestation of God's goodness. He just bought tickets to come to Milan next week so we will continue our time together then!

It was a wonderful, refreshing vacation for me though I have struggled a bit with re-entry. When I got back to Milan, there was NO ONE here and everything was closed. The scenario did not help my re-acclimation after being gone and immersed in english for almost 3 weeks. Now things are so much better with every having returned. Regardless, my cup was running over with the way God blessed me with the refreshing break and encouraging time with friends.

Now, back to work!

Bourne Identity: Italian Edition

2009-07-30T08:47:00.000-07:00

I know for those of you who follow this blog it seems as though things could not be better for me. For crying out loud, I live in Italy, have wonderful friends, visitors, amazing food, and I get to travel to some of the most beautiful places on earth.

I am truly blessed.

However, as you also have seen from reading this blog, there have been rough times amidst this vast blessing. I have been uprooted from everything that was familiar and every worldly thing or person in which I found security. I found myself in a new place with a new language, new people and new culture. While it has proved to be a delightful challenge, there are some days when I just wish I was a little more bored!

In our cultural acquisition classes, we learned that the "real" culture shock usually sets between months 4 and 6. They also told us it would look differently for everyone...and sometimes manifests itself in ways you don't expect. I think I might have just hit that time. I think it is ironic that it has hit me at the point when I am able to have friendships with people who only speak Italian, feel comfortable getting around, feel like I can "do life" here, and am surrounded by such wonderful friends. I don't walk around feeling completely lost anymore and, though I do occasionally experience the same "loneliness" I felt in the beginning, those times are fewer and father between. So why now? Why when life is so good?

I don't know.

My culture shock has managed to combine itself with the major "living piece of flesh" in my life at the moment: fear. Fear of the future (even though my life is not my own), fear of living alone (even though there is nothing to be afraid of), fear of not discerning correctly (even though I know I am equipped for everything I need for life in godliness), fear of waking up one morning and forgetting ALL my Italian (hey, it's come close a few times!), fear of man (even though I am told to ONLY fear God), fear of leaving Italy in 1.5 yrs. knowing I will go through MAJOR reverse culture shock when I get back and will feel like a huge part of me is gone (even though I know God will equip me for where he calls me...even if it is back home), fear of....you name it. It has been something I have had to daily come to the Lord about in repentance.

As a result, of that struggle mixed with a bit of unexpected culture shock, I feel I have had my "guard up" in many ways. I have occasionally been afraid to get too emotionally involved here...to let this place and these people take my heart because I know that in two years I will find myself back in the States and perhaps God will never lead me back. Though I am crazy about everything in this culture and there are honestly very few American things I just can't live without, I do find myself holding onto the "familiar" lately. This has just started in the last few weeks. I find myself longing for the familiar and craving the security of being in a place where I am not an outsider. I almost can't even imagine anymore what it would feel like to just walk up to someone and speak to them in my heart language or walk the streets and actually "be" a part of the culture and not just pretend to be. I also had a couple situations this week in which I was very offended by things certain people said about America. I know it is not glamorous to be an American in Europe and, though I love my country, I don't beat my American chest. However, I was very upset by some of the things that were said about my "familiarity." I felt like that big sister who was defending her little brother from the bully. It made me mad...and for a split second I wanted to go home.

My problem? I am learning what it means to have my identity ONLY in Christ. And I'm having some growing pains. How amazing it is to think that he has removed EVERYTHING from me....including my culture, the most basically-human thing about me. The only familiar thing I have is a couple pairs of shoes, a few books, a jar of peanut butter, and HIM.

The theme of everything the Lord has and is continuing to teach me is that He is enough. He is enough to meet those basic human needs of interacting with others. He is enough to meet that deep need for companionship. He is enough to meet my physical needs in an insanely expensive place. He is enough to meet my emotional needs as I have just gone through the biggest adjustment of my life. He is enough to meet my need for a new brain...because there isn't a day I don't sit in language school humming the tin-man song, "if I only had a brain...". He is enough to give me joy in my salvation rather than joy contingent upon my circumstances. And now, I am learning that He is enough to give me an identity that is completely separate from the culture I am from.

I am not a misplaced American. I am not a pretending Italian. I am His daughter.

Psalm 90 very much spoke to me this morning. It speaks of God being from everlasting to everlasting and I was able to apply it more personally to "culture." It says in verse 1:

"Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God."

It is wonderful to think that before my culture or the Italian culture ever existed, my Father existed. It later speaks of man's years being like dust and how a thousand years (which seems like such a long, important time to us) is but as yesterday when it has passed to Him. Verse 12 says:

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."

This truth that our days and culture are like dust compared to the everlastingness of God has given me a different perspective as I walk down the streets not as a foreigner who will never fit in or be in the realm of the familiar, but as a daughter of the King who has been given all of her worth and security in an everlasting God who loves her, holds her right hand, and guides her steps with his counsel.

I desperately covet your prayers as this truth makes it through the deep crevasses of my heart. I am praising the Lord for the chance to meet up with a huge group of Americans for a week-long vacation in Germany next week. I will get to have a little break from the culture shock and also be able to talk with my friends who have gone through the same thing. I am then going to England to find my english skills again since they are quite scary at the moment. I am looking forward to the break very much and know it could not have come at a better time.

Cinque Terre

2009-07-28T09:54:00.001-07:00

I joined Taylor, Heidi, and Steph, who are my Intercambio colleagues from Rome for a much needed weekend away. We had been planning this trip for over a year and I used it as insentive to get through language school. At the completion of my second-to-last week of school, we said, "Va bene, " and made the trip. It was so nice to be with them, to encourage each other, to chat about what has been going on in our cities, and to have a chance to cut the strings, relax and have fun. What a blessing.

On a VERY crowded train for 3 hours.

In Riomaggiore, the town we stayed in.

My new hat that Heidi passed on because it was too small. She found it in a hostel in Napoli. How schifo is that? But I liked it!

Ha. And I laughed...while I was hyperventilating. The hike wasn't easy, people. 9 km of boulders and old rock stairs.

This is what we hiked.

YUM. They are known for their pesto.

Love these girls.

They're pretty cute. I've missed them. And we love calling each other names in Italian.

Yes, it really did look like this. I left without my camera battery and was depressed the entire time. But, as it turns out, you can't take a bad picture of Cinque Terre....even with a point and shoot.

The road got small at one point. Cliff on one side.

Sunset.

Next morning.

Ready for a day at the beach!

That was SO much fun!

Crowded beach.

Saying goodbye.

Un bel giorno con il mio ragazzo, Jake.

2009-07-28T09:17:00.000-07:00

We started the day off with a bike ride in Parco Treno. This kid is good. Didn't have to slow down for him in the least.

I know, we are so cute together.

This is Jake's interpretive dance to Rascal Flatts "Me and My Gang." He said, "Hey, I tink I hearded this kind of song before in Texas."

Tram rides are so much more fun when you can listen to music and make crazy faces. They are also not so much fun when Jake says in Italian, "Amber, you can't speak to me in English on the tram, REMEMBER??" He's a slave-driver.

Then we got gelato.

Then we came back home to pick up Julia to go to the pool. Joshee had just woken up. This is what he looks like when he wants me to hold him and chain kiss him.

Soaking in the pool.

The pool is indoor and I would hear "EMMMMAAAA" (Amber) echoing off the walls whenever I got more than 10 feet away from her. She was amazing though!

Dad's Last Day in Milan

2009-07-28T09:04:00.001-07:00

Started the day off with a good Italian Breakfast which is generally a Brioche (a crossant stuffed with either chocolate, jam, or cream) but this morning we had a pastry. Yum but death by sugar at 8:00 am. Dad the sugar nazi really liked them believe it or not. The Italians think eggs and toast for breakfast is the most schifo thing they have ever heard of. They have to have something small and sweet.

And no complains about the Italian coffee! I think he tried just about every different types of drinks and I think either the caffé normale or the caffé freddo were his favorites.

What you are looking at is the secret to getting myself through life here. (well, not THE secret...but it's up there...)

My bakery that is not just my coffee and carb heaven but also where many of my dear friends work. Such a blessing.

Then we stopped by the market close to my house. This stand is also one of my favorite finds because they only sell produce with the minimum amount of pesticides and everything is grown in Italy. The lady who is in charge really seems to know what she is talking about and takes pride in what she sells. The cantaloupes are about 3-4 euros (and when Taylor and Heidi told me they pay a little over a euro for them in Rome, I about cried) but they are WONDERFUL.

Had so much fun with my dad and miss him so much!

A Lot has Happened!

2009-07-26T14:11:00.001-07:00

No, I haven't run away to Africa. I've just been crazy busy with school and life....and I did get a chance to play quite a bit this past weekend! Here's a preview shot of where I went. More to come soon!

Un Giro Turistico

2009-07-17T05:51:00.000-07:00

The Galleria.

La Scala Opera House

On top of the Duomo

View from the Duomo

Lots of fun!

Maschile, Feminile...e poi?

2009-07-14T05:53:00.001-07:00

In school today, my teacher took a small rabbit trail to write a list of the gender of some words. She explained that words are just like people. There are 4 types:

1. Male

2. Female

3. Homosexual

4. Bisexual

In the same way, there are masculine and feminine words, but also words that are bisexual. For example, the word "ginocchio" means knee and it is masculine in the singular form and feminine in the plural form. ("il ginocchio" and "le ginocchie.") Also, "le lenzuola," which means sheets, is "il lenzuolo" in the singular form.

Therefore, she says, it is perfectly natural for humanity to be in these 4 categories and thinks it is beautiful how the language portrays all of these equally good options.

Then she took another rabbit trail and explained how the Catholic Church tries to make people believe there is really only 2 categories (male and female) and how they just control people. She used the examples of birth control and abortion.

I didn't even want to tackle this one...I had my head steeped in conditional verbs and just let it be. Plus, I knew this one wouldn't be an easy "1 sentence" response in a classroom setting and required a discussion. Nonetheless, it's amazing what you learn in school!

Pietragavina

2009-07-12T09:06:00.001-07:00

This photo has at least made my favorite top 10 list. I love how he is walking towards the ladies!

Una Chiesa

Many of the streets looked like this. So cute.

Love it.

A private castle. It's for sale, actually. Any takers?

Can there be more than one paradise??

Friends chatting.

The Church I attend has a children's camp every summer in this town. This was the last night of the youth camp and a bunch of us went up for the final concert.

What we did in school today...

2009-07-08T05:47:00.000-07:00

There is a famous singer here named Tiziano Ferro. His posters and billboards are all over and I would probably place him in the top 40 mushy pop category.

Our project in school today was to write out the lyrics of this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I6MK13wRj8

It was hard but a good exercise. It took about 10 times of listening to get everything. The lyrics are all emotional but really mean nothing. Nonetheless, here's a taste of popular italian music. At least he has a good voice...but I seriously wanted to take back everything bad I have said or thought about Sarah Evans or Justin Timberlake.

First Photo Essay

2009-07-02T02:49:00.000-07:00

Brazilian Church

2009-07-02T02:26:00.000-07:00

Jason and Allyson were going to one of the Brazilian Churches here last sunday so Jason could translate for an American guy preaching that night. I joined in on the fun.

Cuteness here had on his adorable brazilian flip-flops that I forgot to include in the picture.

The famous "puppy."

Keeping Julia entertained.

The people were very nice and I enjoyed the very hot, but very encouraging evening. The service was a mix of Italian, Portuguese, and English (from the speaker). Hearing the Portuguese was really weird because it sounds SO different from Italian to me.

Jason translating into Italian.

Roaming Milan with Mael and Cindy

2009-06-30T06:29:00.001-07:00

Mael and Cindy came to Milan this past week to visit with his grandmother. I have been able able to see them twice...and I just found out their flight was full so I am seeing them again tonight! They have been so encouraging and it has been a treat to be able to see and talk with them...in Milan! (on top of that, Mael was able to get me out of awkward situation 246...)

We went to the park behind the castello to take a few shots.

I love their matching rings.

Flowers: Take Two

2009-06-28T07:45:00.000-07:00

I desperately want to have some fresh flowers and herbs growing in my window. I think it looks great and would make the place feel so homey. I also like having fresh herbs any time I wish!

I bought some basil the other week and have managed to kill and resurrect it 3 times. Any suggestions on how to care for the thing?? I have tried everything but the Italian basil and I clearly don't speak the same language!

There was a traveling market on my street today and they had a stand of lots of plants. I went and asked the guy what flowers would be good for a lot of sunlight. He recommended these. I also explained that I "fried my basil plant" last week and he was just sure to tell me clearly how to take care of these currently living plants.

We'll see. They look pretty though!

So what can YOU do with carrots and beets??

2009-06-28T07:44:00.000-07:00

You Know You're on Via Monte Napoleone When...

2009-06-28T07:35:00.001-07:00

The fall preview displays have been set since early June.

You can find tights that match with the skirt.

And you can get the whole outfit for less than 2,000 euros.

You see boxers creatively displayed with flowers and bows and chic lighting.

The scooters look like this...

You encounter very masculine color combinations.

This rounds the corner while you stopped to talk to a friend.

three of my most favorite pairs of cheeks

2009-06-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

I kept the kids one afternoon for Jason and Allyson while they met with Jakes teacher for the end-of-the-year meeting. I love all three of them and am SO blessed to be part of their lives. I have noticed that being with them is my stress relief after long days in language school. I love to take them to the park, enjoy the fresh air, and talk to the old grandmothers who are watching their grandchildren.

You can't see anything (proof that the shutters on the windows are amazing! This was filmed mid-afternoon!) but you can hear Julia's cute little voice. Whenever I ring the bell at their house, I always hear little feet running and her sweet voice saying, "amma's oam!!" (Amber's home!) So cute.

I am always threatening Jake with "big, wet, juicy ones." He plays hard-to-get most of the time.

Little Joshee. Love to squeeze and "chain kiss" him! (and also Julia with her "noble savage" hair.

First Milanese Haircut

2009-06-25T04:58:00.001-07:00

I searched for a while to find a place in between the chinese barbers down the street and the 200 euro salons. Joy and Stefano told me about a place they took Joy's mom to called Adore'. Stefano had researched it and apparently found great reviews. Good enough for me. The hair was looking rough!

My stylist, Davio, is from Sicily but lived and worked in a salon in London for the last 6 years. He spoke perfect "britalian" english, which made me feel so much more comfortable since this is my hair we were talking about...not which tomatoes I want.

We had a great conversation and he most definitely gave me a great quality cut. I don't think I have a strand of hair that he did not examine and he knows every which way every hair lays on my head!

So, I'm happy. I honestly didn't know what I would look like coming out of there!

Pavia

2009-06-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

Pavia is a little city that, believe it or not, is only a 25 minute train ride from Milan. I absolutely loved it. It's amazing how far you feel away from the city though it is right there. I didn't realize how much I had missed seeing all the green fields and I think all the fresh air was exactly what I needed to kick this cough. I met my friend, Elena, there early afternoon and we had a wonderful day together! She lives and grew up there so I had an excellent tour guide!

This is the agriturismo where we stopped for a light lunch.

Where they grew the veggies I ate.

More of the farm.

This is the entrance to the restaurant on the farm.

Elena's house!

The city is very medieval. They have these towers all over the city. So hard to believe how old they are.

The city has many small universities. Most were built around the 12-1300's. These courtyards are beautiful and I greatly enjoyed hearing just random quartets playing music outside while people were reading and studying.

Snazzy, huh? Think I should bring one back to the States?

This is an ex chiesa (former Church) built in the early 1200's. Someone now lives in it.

Doors like this all over the city.

Old, old pharmacy.

Man over 65 in red pants. At least they aren't tight and he isn't carrying a purse.

Bread art.

This Church is made out of sand. Insanely old. The drawings are hieroglyphic-looking designs.

Another GORGEOUS Church.

Bars on the door. That'll keep 'em out.

Me and Elena.

Stefano and Joy joined us for dinner!

Ancora...sigh.

2009-06-21T13:37:00.000-07:00

Mauro called me and I missed his call.

I sent him a message saying "c'e' sta faci?" which is a phrase in puglese dialect that he taught me. (He's from Puglia) In italian, the phrase is "che stai faccendo?" and it means "what are you doing?"

so I sent it and was waiting for a reply

Then I got an sms from MARIO that said, "ciao, amber. sono a casa di jason (I'm at Jason's house) che guardo la partita e tu come stai? (watching the soccer game but how are you?) E te che fai? (and what are you doing?)

I had sent it to the wrong person.

I had ONCE AGAIN completely mixed up Mario's name!

So I called him laughing and told him what happened. I then taught him the english word for "dork."

Because, as my brother later told me, teaching him an english word was probably the only graceful way to pull that off!

Stamattina

2009-06-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

This is what the sky actually looked like:

So long silence!

New Recipe!

2009-06-20T16:44:00.001-07:00

Bruschetta con Pomodori is my new favorite thing to make. It is so easy but amazingly delicious.

I used the pane integrale (whole wheat bread) from the bakery downstairs. I sliced it and rubbed garlic on the top. I drizzled some oil on top and toasted it in the oven. When it was finished, I added salt, diced fresh tomatoes, and basil (from the plant that I have managed to kill and resurrect 3 times so far).

I ended up making a meal out of this and added some delicious pecorino cheese (I like the picanto better than the dolce) from a really neat, traditional cheese and pasta store I found down my street.

Walk to School With Me

2009-06-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

This is my daily trek...

First, down the stairs. Yep, all 85 of them. Like going down. Hate going up.

This is my new bike! Love it but haven't been able to ride it since I got sick over a week ago. But, come tomorrow it will start racking up the miles again.

Who takes a picture of their trash cans? This is where I sort all my trash. I have a sorter in my apartment and bring down bags divided into paper, plastic, glass, and regular trash. They're pretty big into recycling here, which I love.

Just walked out of my building, turning right toward the metro stop.

Yes, we do have graffiti. Some places are worse than others. I think this is the only place on my street. At least it could be philosophical like it is in Germany. From what I can tell, all this is is some guy expressing his non-committal, PDA-laden, and ultimately shallow love for his girlfriend.

One block and I arrive at the metro stop. The location of my apartment is perfect. The metro is one block to the right and the tram is one block to the left. (PS, that is the first mini-hummer I have seen here...)

They pass out these magazines at the entrance of the metro. I usually get them to warm up my italian and try to catch some news.

Pagano is my stop. Interesting, my zone means pagan and my street is "cherubini" which means angels.

Metro is here. And it's full...ugg. You learn quickly how to pack in and get over B.O.

This is my metro pass. I just scan it in when I go on any public transportation. I have money on it to last me for the year and it is much, much more convenient than buying the paper tickets.

Made it to Cairoli, which is the stop closest to my school. This is my view to the right.

And to the left. The Castello (castle) is down that way a couple blocks.

This is a wanna-be. You can always tell the difference between the real models and the wanna-be's. Still anorexic though. And somehow smoking cigarettes is supposed to make you 60% cooler.

This is a big Armani sign. There has always been a picture of a really neat man-purse that, were I a guy, I would totally carry. This morning, however, it was changed and there is a picture up of the Armani Jeans Basketball team, which is Milan's pro team. They went all the way to the final game in the play-offs and lost by one point. Regardless, our friend, Jobey, was the star of the season.

Jobey is the fourth from the left.

Love the flower boxes.

After about a mile, this is my turn. Via Brera. This section of town is the really artsy part of town. It comes alive at night with gas lamps glowing outside the trendy restaurants and shops. They also have artists outside displaying their work. It's probably my favorite "place" in the Milan night-life.

This is the sign for Milan's art museum that has many famous pieces but I have yet to check it out. I think I might go with a girl from my language school sometime. It is not even one block from my school.

Via Brera. This is the part with more of the shops. Down the street the restaurants and cafe's start.

Bike riding is very common. Though, I have to say, riding on the cobblestone is not very comfortable!

Yea, Laura didn't make it in Milan...

This is the sweet lady that "portiera" or door keeper. She is so sweet and always greats us when we walk in.

Really pretty gate at the entrance of the building. The courtyard behind it is nice too. Most Milanese buildings are set up like this. My apartment has a little courtyard like this too.

My school.

Walk up more stairs. This building actually has an elevator...but I never take it.

Arrivo!

Ready for 4 hours of cramming!

And then, I'll do it all over again tomorrow!

From Whence Does Bitterness Come?

2009-06-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

I read these verses today:

Isaiah 38:13-17

I thought until the morning:

He will break all my bones like a lion;

You made and end of me day and night.

I chirp like a swallow or a crane;

I moan like a dove.

My eyes grow weak looking upward.

Lord, I am oppressed; support me.

What can I say?

He has spoken to me,

and He Himself has done it.

I walk along slowly all my years

because of the bitterness of my soul,

Lord, because of these promises

people live,

and in all of them is the life of my spirit

as well;

You have restored me to health

and let me live.

Indeed, it was for my own welfare

that I had such great bitterness;

but Your love has delivered me from the Pit of destruction,

for You have thrown all my sins behind Your back.

I noticed several things about bitterness. First of all, bitterness hinders our ability to live a life that glorifies God to the upmost. Secondly, bitterness, just like every sin, is rooted in pride. It comes from a heart that is still struggling with complete surrender. This heart still wants to be god at least in certain situations. It wants to still have a few "rights" at least sometimes.

Being conformed into the image of Christ means day by day surrendering the "rights" for which we so quickly grasp. Our "right" to be happy; our "right" to be appreciated; our "right" to be loved; our "right" to even pursue OUR dreams.

How contrary is this idea to everything Disney and the rest of the world teaches.

I love how this passage shows how futile our bitterness is in the face of an almighty creator who is sovereign in our lives. He directs our steps with all wisdom and love and purpose for His glory. Our bitterness is an excellent tool the enemy uses to either stop people from coming to Christ or, if they do, to make them as ineffective as possible so to rob God of all the glory he can. Nonetheless, we serve a God who has already won the battle. Regardless of the temptations that come our way, HE is sovereign to work His purposes in our lives.

Yes, we do have to daily surrender our "rights." No, it is not fun. Yes, there are days when I want to be angry because "I have the right to be angry." Or, there are days when I want to dwell on the fact that certain things have not turned out as I expected because "I have the right to have some say in MY life." Yes, there are days when I want to be preoccupied with worry and fret over the future because "I have the right to have dreams and ambitions." Nonetheless, as miserably happy as my sin makes me, it is an impossible burden to bear.

The insurmountable joy that comes from repenting and seeking forgiveness for my bitterness is incomparable. The song of my heart truly is:

but Your love has delivered me from the Pit of destruction,

for You have thrown all my sins behind Your back.

By living in the joy of the spirit and with complete trust in a good and wise Father it is possible to walk through life not collecting the bitterness our experiences render, but giving to others the grace that has been so freely bestowed upon us.

I am a slow learner.

But I have a Father who desires for me to live in the fullness of His joy.

Yet I daily spit in his face by my unbelief.

But daily, he is faithful to forgive.

The Victory of Expression!

2009-06-13T06:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday and today were two very good days for me. After finishing the week strong in language school (except for yet another cough I have picked up...I have never coughed so much in my life. I think it is just from living in a big city. If anyone wants to mail me more respiratory cleanse you are more than welcome!) I came home and made banana pudding Italian-style and managed to sleep for about 30 minutes. (my once-upon-a-time luxury of being able to take a much needed hour nap every day after language school disappeared long ago...) Then, my friend, Mauro, (marco's, mario's, mauro's, oh my!) picked me up and we went to Michael's house for a grigliata, which is the Italian's way of having a cook-out. There were probably 30 people there, most of whom I had already met and had been getting to know at various get-togethers. We enjoyed tons of yummy meat and grilled veggies as we chiacchieravo (were chatting) until the wee hours. I SO enjoyed being able talk more with people! Each time I see everyone, I am able to talk a little more and, most importantly, get to know them even more. Everyone has been so patient and unbelievably encouraging and welcoming as I have been working up a sweat trying to learn this language and culture. It is so interesting to finally be able to "get to know" someone and understand their thoughts and personality when I have technically known and spent much time with them in the past 2.5 months.

Today, I was able to lay around in bed until about 10:00 and enjoy doing nothing besides sweating. I then got up and got some cleaning done. Afterwards, I met an American friend for lunch. This girl is actually a sister of a friend of a friend. Go figure! My friend Brittany, from Southeastern, sent me a message last week saying the sister of one of her best friends is now in Milan for a year to be a nanny for a family who is with the American Consulate here. She just moved here a few weeks ago. She put us in touch and, come to find out, this girl not only lives in the same part of this huge city as me, she also lives right off the same street! Absolutely incredible. We met for lunch today and had a great time together. We are actually going to Lago di Maggiore together tomorrow for a little day-trip.

After we parted, I stopped by my bakery to buy some bread. When I walked in, it was very "tranquile" (quiet) and everyone came out from their various posts to say hi. We started talking about the past week and what everyone was doing this weekend. I told them about my upcoming trip and they were sure to tell me of all sorts of things I need to do while I am there. I LOVE being able to really talk with them.

But here's the big part...

I have been so frustrated by the fact that I can't really express everything that I want to express...especially when I really want to thank someone or tell them what a blessing they have been. Not sure why, but apparently I felt confident enough in the language today to try to thank them for how wonderful they have been. It came out something like this:

I love this beautiful bakery and everyone here is so kind to me. I remember I came here my second day in Milan and could BARELY even say which type of bread I wanted. I was still turning the coins over looking at how much they are and hoping I was giving the right amount. But, everyone here has been so kind and patient with me and it made me so happy. Now, I am happy to be able to talk more with ya'll (yep, they have that word in Italian!) and to be able to know you better.

Totally not in so many words, but that was the point. Regardless, they were beaming...and I'm sure let me preposition flops go for the time being!

Then, I explained to them that there is an American girl who is the sister of a friend of a friend and she just moved here. I said I told her that the people here are very nice and patient and that she can feel at home here. They all agreed that they would help her and said for me to tell her to come whenever. (I also told them to make a marocchino for her sometime. She'll be all set!:)

LOVE being able to connect with people. I am at the point where big groups don't scare me like they did and I don't feel completely awkward. I feel confident walking down the street and in most stores. (STILL hate the supermarket though...) But what is most important to me is the ability to get to know people better.

I very much still have good days and bad days with the language but it is these types of "victories" that keep me going and show me that when I am weak, He is strong.

On the Street Where I Live

2009-06-11T09:26:00.001-07:00

Well, actually down the street from where I live...but where I walk every day.

This is one color collection. This green was everywhere.

These are some extra pics I liked.

The Curiosity of "Amore"

2009-06-10T07:43:00.000-07:00

I have a new teacher in the next level of language school. Let's just say she is much more "rough around the edges" than sweet Giovanna or Lorenza. She enjoys debating and asserting her ideas every way she can. She respects students who stand up to her though she likes to put them down. To be honest, I have had a hard time with her because I see her being overly sarcastic, rude and down-right mean to many of the other students in my class...especially the asian ones who are really struggling. She is not as mean to me because I will stand up to her and the language comes easier for me than it does when you are making the leap from Chinese to Italian. Nonetheless, I usually come out of class either wanting to cry or needing to confess my "indignation!"

I heard she has had a rough life and has seen many ugly and depressing things. I try to keep this in mind and to respond in a christ-like way to her.

Today, she brought up the topic of love. I don't exactly remember the context, but she was explaining how being "too close" to someone kills love. For example, living with someone and seeing them every day makes you sick of them and removes the sense of "curiosity", which is the fuoco (fire) of love. So, in her world, marriage would be out of the picture but so would living with someone. I guess the best thing to do is to have a series of one-night stands. What a depressing life!

I spoke up (not sure where I got the courage to tackle this type of issue in Italian with her!) and said that I don't believe curiosity is the only element of love. I understand curiosity's connection with passion but I don't believe curiosity is all there is to passion either!

She basically said that if you are always together and grow tired of each other (and no longer have that curiosity) then your "affection" is just the same as what you have for a brother or sister.

Again, I said I don't believe that love consists of either curiosity (lust/eros) or philos. I believe there is agape love that is deeper than both those loves. It comes from having a completely different view of love. It comes from a commitment and a self-less life. Only then can you experience true love.

At that point my language skills died. :)

And she looked me in the eye and said she has had much experience and knows for a fact that...something like "the best you can have is curiosity." In other words, she does not believe a love as deep as agape love could ever exist. Therefore, it is best to just make the best of this miserable existence through physical pleasure. At least that is "something."

Sad.

Mixing Two Passions

2009-06-08T09:28:00.000-07:00

I am working on a photo essay for intercambio. What is a photo essay? I am probably the wrong person to ask since I really have no idea. But, in the spirit of true modern art, that really doesn't matter. The question is: what does the concept of a photo essay mean to me, no? The purpose of this project is to mix my two passions: philosophy and photography to create an interesting collage that tells a story. I don't want to reveal what this one is about just yet since it is not yet finished. But, I did want to display some pictures I took today with my friend, Mario.

If you remember, Mario is the one I called "Marco" for the longest time because I could not keep my Marco's and Mario's straight. Apparently I did not scare him too much and he is now a great friend - and an excellent model!!

Okay, please tell me if the emotion I have written at the top of the photo comes across. I need your help!!

Emozione: pensoso, contemplativo.

(pensive, contemplative)

Emozione: "non voglio farlo..."

(Dread)

Or this one... This expresses a little bit more sadness.

I like how he looks like he is praying. Less "dread" and more broken hearted.

Emozione: speranza, felicitá, anticipazione

(hope, happiness, anticipation)

Emozione: coraggio

(courage)

We took these photos by the metro and bus stop in front of my apartment. Mario was a trooper being a model while tons of people where walking by! After our hard work, we stopped by Gelateria Marghera for some yummy gelato. I got lots of italian practice in and definitely increased my vocabulary. This was my first photoshoot all in Italian! He was so patient as I was not only thinking about what I wanted, but was also thinking how to explain what I wanted!

"Do you like chicken feet??"

2009-06-06T16:20:00.000-07:00

These were the words spoken in broken Italian by my chinese friend, Angelina, while we were sitting in a Chinese restaurant in Milan's Chinatown.

Darn! I thought, I just told her I like EVERYTHING! I didn't think THAT would be her first suggestion!

"Ummm..." I replied looking quite worried. "Not really."

"Okay," she started, "Ti piace le gambe di rana?"

Gambe =legs....rana? Oh yea! "Rana" was the word for frog I learned from reading that kids story the other day! *gasp! Frog legs? Is that really the second choice?? That is the second most gross thing to me. I will eat anything BUT those two things!!

The words "um, non so...ma, vorrei provare!" (I don't know, but I would like to try!) took a lot of courage coming out of my mouth. I remembered the prayer my friends going to various parts of the world where the cuisine is not exactly fine Italian would pray: "Lord, if I get it down will you please keep it down?"

She had a huge, delighted smile come over her face telling me she loved having someone show interest in her and her culture. She ordered several different dishes to go with our succulent gambe di rana and everything was SO good. When the legs came out, however, they were in a pot that had bubbles floating to the top and popping just like a hot, steamy swamp.

I bashfully asked her how to eat it and she put the whole thing in her mouth, chewed off all the meat, and spit out the bone.

Va bene, I thought. Go for it.

Let's just say I am really glad it had a good sauce on it! You know it's bad when you are chasing something with tofu...

The experience was very fun and it really helped me learn a lot more about Angelina. I'm sure we were amusing to the people around us as we sat at the table with our Chinese to Italian and English to Italian dictionaries in front of us! She has invited me to come to her house this coming wednesday to learn how to cook chinese food! I am looking forward to spending more time with her since she is rather lonely and will hopefully pick up some good recipies. (Minues the frog legs, hopefully.)

A Day in Torino

2009-06-06T15:41:00.000-07:00

Torino is a smaller city about 1.5 hours away from Milan. A friend of mine, Frederica, lives there with her family when she is not attending the University here in Milan. She invited me to go visit her for a day so I took a train early this morning to have a beautiful day in Tornino!

Little known fact about Torino: they have the largest Egyptian museum outside of Cairo! They even have more Egyptian artifacts than the British Museum! I was obviously in heaven seeing things similar to what I saw in Egypt. (and, I will not lie...it made me want to go back to visit Egypt even more!)

It is so hard to imagine that someone made this 3,000 years ago!

A very large sarcafagus.

If the color is this bright now, can you imagine what it was like back then?

Me and Frederica.

Story written with pictures on papyrus. Wish I could read it. Sfortunatamente, Italian is about all I can handle right now!

The layers of sarcaphagus' (sarcaphagi?) for this mummy!

Yes, you are looking at hair on the mummy! Amazing. It is also amazing how small the bodies are. The adult males look like 10 year old boys.

Two things about this video: 1) David, our mutual American friend who introduced me and Frederica, telling about part of the mummification process. 2) There is an adorable little Italian boy at the end staring at the body with a shocked look on his face while his mom is pointing out the fact that this one has hair!

Again, beautifully preserved colors.

And I even found some amber!

Outside the window of the Egyptian Museum overlooking a famous piazza in Torino.

At a castle in Torino.

GORGEOUS villas!

A knight in shining armor.

Il Castello

This was a type of go-cart that you peddle yourself.

This is a University for architecture. This building ALMOST made me want to consider life as an architect!

...and then I remembered my first love: philosophy. And I am so happy to be in a place that appreciates it as much as I do.

Three's a Charm

2009-06-04T08:42:00.000-07:00

FYI - when you do not know the verb for an action, "fare" is not your wild card. Fare means to make or do. They use it all the time just like we do in english. When you do not know the verb or the noun, you can always say "fare questo", which means "to do/make this." Works most of the time.

However, "Fare" is like a box of chocolates. You never know exactly what you are going to get...or in my case "say."

We had just watched an excerpt of an old film in language school. In the beginning, the lady was watering her garden and found a baby in the cabbages. My teacher asked a question and what I wanted to say was, "because she waters the cabbages."

Had NO idea how to say "watering" in Italian but I did know the word for cabbage.

So, pulled out handy-dandy "fare." Instead of saying watering in the phrase I said, "fa l'acqua."

And my teacher looked over the rim of her glasses and said (in English...which I didn't know she spoke) "Amber, the lady did not p*ss on the cabbages."

So, so far this week, I have exchanged tongues with Giovanni, hung out at a place where there are prostitutes, and said a sweet, old lady p*ssed on some cabbages. I think I am to horrified to open my mouth now! Too bad that's not an option...

Another Language Blooper

2009-06-03T11:22:00.000-07:00

Man, two back-to-back! I better not be starting a trend here...

One day in language school we were supposed to talk about what we had done that previous weekend. We do this frequently because it is interesting to hear about what everyone did and it also is pull-ups for your usage of passatto progressivo e imperfetto. (as well as suicidal reflexives)

What I meant to say was that I went to the market, which is "mercado"

BUT what slipped out of my mouth early in the morning was:

I went to the "marketa." (which is an old word for a place where there are prostitutes.)

There was a gasp from my teacher... and then a belly-laugh. Hate that combination.

We are the Mosaics

2009-06-01T05:20:00.000-07:00

I have been re-reading Pascal's Pensées again. I am amazed at how accurately it applies in a postmodern world. Here is one quite that makes me think very much of the people of my generation:

Thus the fact that there exist men who are indifferent to the loss of their being and the peril of an eternity of wretchedness is against nature. With everything else they are quite different; they feawr the most triffling things, foresee and feel them; and the same man who spends so many days and nights in fury and despare at losing some office or at some imaginary affront to his honour is the very one who knows that he is going to lose everything through death but feels neither anxiety nor emotion. It is a monstrous thing to see one and the same heart at once so sensitive to minor things and so strangely insensitive to the greatest.

Curious how people are more in danger of coming to God for him to fix the "little things" (like jobs, money, relationships, etc.) rather than for the "big things" (like being made-right with the Creator God)

Fare La Prima Colazione

2009-06-01T02:24:00.000-07:00

I am well aware of those of you who follow this blog simply for the recipes! I don't blame you. I would probably do the same. So, I thought I'd share my favorite breakfast recipe.

Pears (or other kind of fruit....I'm addicted to pears right now)

Ricotta (I must say, the ricotta here is NOTHING like what we used to buy in big tubs to make lasagna. I could not believe how creamy and sweet it tastes here rather than dry and "bleh." I'm sure if you stay away from the big grocery-store brand tubs of ricotta and maybe go to a specialty store - or look in the specialty cheese section - you may be able to find a good brand. It is well worth the money! All that is in this brand is milk, salt and citric acid.)

Honey (drizzled on top)

So Long Convenience!

2009-06-01T01:52:00.000-07:00

Last week brought a border-line miserable heat spell for the Italians. I could not believe how hot it was! (I was actually lucky and missed the worst day while I was in Switzerland...but I caught up with it when I arrived back in Milan the next night!) I know it was "hotter" in Egypt, but this is a mix of heat and about the same amount of humidity as we have in NC. What made me notice it more was the fact that I no longer have the lifestyle where I go from the house (with air conditioning) to the car (with airconditioning) via a short walk through the garage. From the car, I go to the grocery store (with airconditioning) via a short walk across a parking lot. I was always able to control the amount of time I was out in the heat. Even when I would go for a bike ride or for a walk, I was always able to come back to the air conditioning and cool down. Now, however, no one has air conditioning ANYWHERE and there is no "escape" from the heat. I have just had to get used to the idea of being hot, sweaty, and not so cute all day long. (just to warn any potential visitors for the summer:) My daily routine looks somewhat different as well. Now, I walk from my apartment to the metro station and get in a metro where I am positive they have the heat turned on despite the fact we are smashed in like sardines, walk to language school, where they don't have air conditioning, arrive sweaty, sit sweaty for 4 hours trying to cram this language in my head, walk back to the metro, arrive at home completely grimy and with black feat, wash my feet and hands, give up on the rest, cook lunch, etc...The rest of the afternoon varies depending on the day but always involves either walking 2 miles to Esselunga (the grocery store) or riding my bike to the Greenwiches, or back to the metro to meet someone for a language exchange. In other words, the heat and I have had to learn to live with each other.

With the heat spell and lack of rain came large amounts of dust as well. I normally have to vacuum everything every day just to keep it free from everything that flies through my windows, which are open always for much needed circulation. However, one afternoon, a huge tornado of dust flew in. I don't know if I caught a draft because of where my apartment is positioned or if this happened to everyone. This tornado of dust/grime covered EVERYTHING including the newly clean laundry I had just set out on the drying rack. There had to be a 1/4 inch spread of grime all over my counters and table and floor. It happened right in the middle of an insanely busy week. After I stayed up until 3:00 am cleaning that first night, it took me three evenings of cleaning and doing laundry before it was all back to normal.

Because I don't have a dryer and I can't stand crunchy sheets and towels, I take the time to iron everything. It does take extra time, but it makes me feel better. :) But, after having to wash everything, the ironing definitely took 3 hours! (or 3 episodes of House, to be exact) This is the picture of all my queen size bedding (including duvet and shams), hand towels, regular towels, jeans, and Thai fisherman pants that I love. Behold 3 hours of labor:

But, when it all comes down to it...I guess there is more to life than convenience.

A Night in Tornino

2009-05-28T18:20:00.001-07:00

I attended an event tonight with I Ragazzi di Martedi Sera, the group that meets at Jason's house on tuesday night. It was a concert by Hillsong London hosted by Atleti di Cristo as an outreach. I had 6 hours of language school that lasted until I had to leave for Jason's house. I was unable to pick up my camera and was therefore "off-duty" for the night.

Tonight was the first time I was able to sing praise and worship songs in english since I have been here. I absolutely love singing worship songs in Italian and I do feel like I am truly able to worship. However, english is my mother-tongue and "heart language." It is always going to be the language in which my heart feels and expresses. (and some days is the only language my tongue speaks!)

The event was a success with 1,500 of people in attendance. Nicola always draws a large crowd and I think having Hillsong there brought believers from all over. Tomas Guzman, who is from Paraguay, is the current president of the group and Nicola, from Italia, is the vice president. They both shared their testimonies and did an amazing job. Though Bekah and Mael will be the only ones to truly appreciate this, I thought you might like to hear how beautiful it sounds to hear and Italian sharing their testimony.

Tomas was PREACHING it! He pulled out the scripture and made an extremely clear gospel presentation. My Grandfather would be so proud!

This is part of Nicola's testimony. He did a very good job as well. The MC is a guy named Gianni, who is a sports commentator and also comes to Jason's on tuesday nights. Again, just an example:

Whoops...

2009-05-27T12:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have had my first language goof. I have heard so many stories of people saying extremely embarrassing things while learning a new language. I knew my doom was coming, though I am surprised it did not come sooner. (at least to my knowledge!)

What I meant to say was "thanks for the language exchange."

BUT

I definitely thanked Giovanni for exchanging tongues with me.

Probably not something you want to say to an Italian guy.

Unfortunately, this is just the beginning...

Like a Child

2009-05-27T11:38:00.000-07:00

I have experienced many new emotions since I have entered into this new culture. Some were expected and others were surprises. I am now beginning to see how the situations that have revealed these emotions were uniquely designed by my Heavenly Father.

The first emotion I experienced was loneliness. Not the kind of loneliness when you do not know anyone or are somehow unable to interact with other people. This loneliness is rather ironic; it comes from being surrounded by crowds of people every day and yet feeling completely isolated and unable to connect with them because of a language barrier that seemed at first to be monumental. For days on end, I felt like a premature baby in the NICU. I was completely isolated and longed for real human contact. I never realized how deep a desire it is for all humans to feel connected. However, during those times, my Father blessed me with an overwhelming sense of his presence holding my right hand and guiding my steps with his counsel. I learned that even this "instinctively human" need can be met by my savior during a time when He has asked me to pick up my cross and follow him. Though I am able to communicate much more now than I was when I first arrived, there are still days when I wish I could tell Giovanna, Sergio, and Agnese, those who work in the bakery downstairs and make my cappuccino in the mornings, the details of an experience or even express how special they are to me. (many people did tell me I would not be able to express my sense of humor in Italian for quite a while...but I think my sarcasm has translated quite well from day 1. I always seem to find a way to convey it!) Nonetheless, my Father has proved himself to be my ever-present help in times of need.

The other emotion I have been experiencing a lot lately is the feeling of being a child. I am enjoying being able to communicate in a pragmatic sense. However, I know full well that my vocabulary and grammatical ability matches that of a 5 year old Italian child. There are some aspects of being a child that are quite interesting. For example, I noticed today that my learning pattern is exactly like that of a child. I remember when my siblings were little and learning to speak. They needed repetition and the word or phrase did not stick in their heads until they used it themselves, unprompted, in a dialogue. I am the same way. I also remember laughing at the words and phrases they picked up. Sometimes, the words seemed completely random and I would always hear my parents say, "where did she learn that??" Not anything bad: just random. I am the same way. My language teachers laugh at the random words I pick up from hours of listening and talking each day. I come in every day asking, "Lorenza, che significa xyz?" I can almost hear them thinking to themselves, "how in the world did she pick up that word/phrase?"

Being a child again also has it's difficulty. I must confess that I prided myself and even found some of my identity in being a communicator back in the States. My highschool years where spent traveling to various debate tournaments and my college degree was heavy in rhetoric. That ability has been like a rug pulled out from under my feet. How humbling it is to daily live in an environment where many who hear me speak broken Italian assume that I think broken thoughts. But who am I? Am I a "History of Ideas" major? Am I a "debater"? Am I a theologian? No, "I"am crucified with Christ. It is not I that lives but Christ who lives within me. In realta', I am a broken vessel whom God has declared righteous. By stripping my identity away from me, I have found it even deeper in Him. I often wonder what it is people see in me that makes them want to talk to me. It isn't my nationality: if anything, that is a hindrance for some people. It isn't my personality hidden behind my frustration with reflexive verbs. It isn't the my brains; in their mind I know just as much as a 5 year old. It certainly isn't my clothes in a world where everyone changes their wardrobe every 3 months for the "color" of the season. It certainly isn't my looks in a place where I walk the streets with models. The only thing it can be is Christ in me. He has completely stripped me of everything I could possibly claim to be "mine" and replaced it with a child-like dependence on Him. How beautiful yet humbling to think that the ONLY thing people see and are attracted to in me is Christ!

In light of this new experience, Mark 10:15-16 affects me in a much deeper, real way:

Let the little children come to Me. Don't stop them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I assure you: Whoever does not welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. After taking them in his arms, He laid His hands on them and blessed them.

In this passage, Jesus is not saying we have to have "blind faith" or throw out all knowledge to come to him. What he is saying is he wants our dependence upon him just as a little child is dependent upon it's father. He blesses that child-like dependence and adoration and delights in his child. He has so clearly done this for me each and every day. I am completely dependent upon him not only for my salvation, but for every breath I take as a child of God.

I am unbelievably blessed to be in a place where the people have been exceptionally encouraging and helpful. They seem to long to communicate with me just as much as I long to communicate with them. The smile on their faces is just as big as the smile on my face when we understand each other. My hand gestures and facial expressions have gotten much bigger as a means of communicating my emotions when my words don't suffice. Their warm smiles and sparkling eyes reach straight to my heart and often speak louder than words.

Sono Andata in Svizzera!

2009-05-27T10:11:00.000-07:00

The Sullivan family are friends from North Carolina who were fellow homeschoolers. David and I were in debate, CWIS, etc. together all through highschool and he is in the core group of my closest friends from childhood. His brother, Joel, is in culinary school in the states and is studying abroad in Switzerland for the summer. The family made a vacation out of it and have been touring France and Switzerland. Knowing they would only be a few hours away from me, I had to buy a ticket and meet up with them. I took a train up mid-morning on sunday and stayed until Monday evening. Because their flight was delayed, they did not arrive in Zermatt until late sunday night. However, we were able to spend all day monday together enjoying our beautiful surroundings.

Train station in Visp. How gorgeous is that sky?!

Check out my train ride!

I love how they make their houses fit the land rather than making the land fit their houses.

What a beautiful bridge. Looks like something out of Lord of the Rings.

Seriously??

There are waterfalls EVERYWHERE. Speaking of water: I've never tasted better water in my life than the regular tap water in Zermatt. I filled my bottle up when I left and was so sad when it was gone.

There are also fields of these beautiful wild flowers everywhere. Usually there are purples ones scattered as well but they apparently didn't make it in this picture.

Finally in Zermatt!

Talk about a nice hostel! There was a really sweet girl named Wendy who shared the room with me. She is from Hong Kong but is now living in New York. I enjoyed talking with her quite a bit.

No joke: this is the view from the window in my room! We had to climb a cliff to get to the hostel but it was well worth it.

We took an underground tram to the top of the mountain. We had to cheat since I had to leave that evening and the hike down was going to take several hours. This tram went straight up with solid rock all around it.

Micah, the oldest Sullivan boy, and his wife, Laura.

At the top. About to hike down.

David thought the view was pretty sweet.

Daniel is pretty cool.

This mountain is one of the most famous in the Alps. It is extremely tall (over 14,000 feet) and uniquely stands alone. It lies on the boarder of the Swiss and Italian Alps but is the iconic emblem of the Swiss Alps. It was first climbed in 1865 (we saw the plaque of the man who first climbed it) and is one of the deadliest peaks in the Alps. Since it was first climbed in the 1800's, 500 people have died climbing it.

Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan

The air was amazingly crisp and fresh. I felt like a new person after sleeping all night with the windows open. My lungs definitely needed the break after being in the city. However, when we were hiking, the air smelled just like it does at the beach! My guess is all the minerals everywhere actually made the air salty smelling! The cool, strong breeze with the salty fresh air was just what the doctor ordered!

Another waterfall.

Too many amazing pictures. Had to put one more up of the Matterhorn!

Overlooking Zermatt. Almost back!

Rebekah is amazing! What 9 year old girl has 20-something year old brothers who drag her around France and the mountains of Switzerland?!

One blonde-headed best friend of mine was thought of here and all the late, calorie-laden nights we have experienced together over the years. This was the first time I had seen anything Ben & Jerry's since I left. They would never allow it in the Land of Gelato where I currently reside. Nonetheless, there are many happy memories attached to half-baked and dublin mud-sliding!

This is the town of Zermatt. It is very quaint and they only allow electric cars.

Amazing chocolate, cheese, brats, and pocket knives are and were found in this town! This is me loaded down with all my goodies! I was also carrying my bag to head to the train station...

I arrived back in Milan late that night and definitely struggled getting to language school the next morning! I am not sure what was worse: waking myself up or climbing the stairs of my school with very sore legs! I enjoyed seeing my friends, though I felt a bit of homesickness on the way back to Milan. I love my "new home" along with the wonderful people and new experiences I am having here. Having a clean break from the old and the new helped me not feel too homesick. However, this was the first time I have seen old friends from home since I have been here. As refreshing as it was to see them, I felt a little heart-tugging when I got back on the train.

To Lago di Como and Back

2009-05-23T13:40:00.001-07:00

I hitched a ride to Lake Como today, which is the third largest lake in Italy and one of the deepest in Europe. The bottom is 656 ft. below sea level. The lake is known for the beautiful villas which have existed since Pliny the Younger. (around 100 AD) By car, it takes less than 3o minutes to get there. We rode the scooter up which allowed for great pictures and lots of sunshine on the way.

These mountains are slightly more rounded on the top. They become much more rocky a little farther up and eventually turn into breathtaking alps as you keep traveling. I have completely fallen in love with Northern Italy because of them. The point-and-shoot did a horrible job of capturing the gorgeousness before my eyes. There was a bit of haze out today, which made it even worse for photos.

Many famous people, such as George Clooney, have Villas in Como. His is apparently somewhere this-side of the lake.

AH, the haze really makes it impossible to see how beautiful it was.

This is a ragazzo taking insanely staged and cheezy pictures of his ragazza. I was told his is a very "southern Italy" thing to do. :)

This was the slightly scary, model-wanna-be girl after her posed picture was taken.

SO CUTE! I love how they dress their kids too. See the adidas shoes? Check out the mom: high heeled tennis shoes. Very popular. Don't ask me why.

Bellagio, a small town on the part of the lake where it splits into a wishbone shape.

Found a bunch of Amber.

Gelato.

Restaurants getting ready for dinner, which starts in about 5 hours.

Nice park by the lake. Notice the cute family playing with their kid and the naked couple (the guy was wearing a speedo and the girl a bikini) tanning in the grass. I cannot tell you how many Italian men I see laying out on a towel wearing a speedo in the parks. It is absolutely disgusting. I thankfully didn't get the other couple beside the naked couple who was in desperate need of a hotel room. DESPERATE. It was worse the couples on the metro.

Gorgeous, nonetheless.

I really like these trees. I had never seen them before moving here. They are really short but very thick and shady.

Bellagio.

Batman and Robin.

After a long but fun day...

On the way back to Milan.

Back in Milan!! This is apparently a cemetery for a bunch of very famous Italian writers and composers. I need to check it out soon.

This is my city!!

Il Castello (castle) in Milan. I haven't been here yet but am hoping to next weekend. It is right beside my language school but I have been so preoccupied with "living" that I haven't actually gone.

LOVE Milan. I feel so blessed to live here.

Domani: off to Zermatt, Switzerland to meet up with David and Joel for a couple of days. CAN'T WAIT!

Benvenuta in Italia, Amber!

2009-05-21T05:13:00.000-07:00

LITTLE bit of culture shock.

Number 1: Inter fans.

This lasted for several DAYS.

Number 2: Nudity.

Cultural FYI - There is no word in Italian that means modesty in the sense of wearing modest clothes.

I guess I didn't notice it sooner being a girl. I understand the naked woman on the signs in the windows of EVERY pharmacy. I understand the naked woman on the advertisements for anti-cellulite cream. (gotta watch that pasta, girls!) I even understand the mostly nude pictures of Victoria Beckham all around the fashion district especially. But what I don't get is why they have to put a naked lady on my italian homework.

Oh, but that's not all. THAT was yesterday. Today my teacher brought in an entire box of pictures. Most of them were nude. (except the one of the pope, thankfully.) The teacher asked us questions like, "why is she like this?"

Answer: because she was too hot.

"Why is she covering her chest in this picture?"

Answer: si vergognava (she was ashamed)

The next picture was of a nude lady holding the bottle of whiskey with a "mischievous" look on her face. The teacher says, "What is she doing?"

I was looking up the word for "tramp" in the dictionary but the students beat me to it with the conclusion that "she is drinking whiskey nude while thinking about her boyfriend."

Then, to solidify our knowledge of passato prossimo, we had to describe all the pictures again using past tense. How nice. The French guy beside me felt right at home.

Another Recipe

2009-05-15T06:46:00.000-07:00

Cooking has very much been my artistic release. It is one of the ways I have made my apartment my home as well as adapted to my new culture. Whenever I try a new dish at a restaurant or a friend's house, I always add it to my growing collection of recipes. Here is the latest: roasted veggies. I tried this at an aperitivo place last night and really liked it. I didn't have the actual recipe so I don't know for sure if it is right but it tasted exactly the same to me.

(FYI The Italians LOVE their grilled or roasted veggies. I think I have eaten more here in the last 6 weeks than I have in my life! )

First, I sliced 1 red bell pepper and roasted it in olive oil in my grill pan. While that was cooking, I cubed 1 eggplant and sliced some leeks. I also put 1 sundried tomato in some hot water to soak. When the peppers where done, I set them aside and put the eggplant and leeks in the pan to cook just until soft. (remember to use salt on the eggplant - it helps it cook down better) I sliced the peppers into bite size pieces and added them back to the pan along with the sliced sundried tomato. I added some balsamic vinegar (just a splash) and about a tbsp. of cane sugar. I let it all cook together for probably 10 minutes or so until it was really soft and the balsamic/sugar had caramelized. I put it on a plate and tossed it with some fresh basil. Buon appetito!

I was just walking by...

2009-05-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

I STILL cannot get over the fact that I frequently walk right by the Duomo and Galleria Vittorio Emanuele. I love several parts of town (Brera, Navigli, etc), but this part is still my favorite despite there being a few more tourists. I think it has something to do with the memories of the time I visited in November - arguably the happiest time of my life! When I go there, it hits me again that I actually am in Milan. It's a easy walk from my apartment so I made the pilgrimage a couple times this week after language school to try to unknot my brain.

Yay for Funky Pants!

2009-05-15T06:29:00.001-07:00

For those of you who rolled your eyes at my beloved Thai fisherman pants, this is the Italian version! They are basically the same except drawn in around the ankles. I saw these beauties in the window of a store right by Piazza Duomo shortly after I arrived.

I have been keeping a tight reign on my wallet, knowing that I currently reside in a culture dripping with all of my weaknesses. (I have never experienced such shoe lust. I seriously walk by this one store every day to and from language school and stare at the same pair of shoes. The workers recognize me by now!) But, it was the end of the month and I allowed myself to cave a little bit. The best part is they were on sale!

Quote from Jim Wilson

2009-05-12T00:55:00.000-07:00

It is possible to have unforgiveness in your heart and still go to church and sing. But it is all a fake! The singing is false. You can make people sing but when people are clean you don't have to make them sing. But people will spontaneously sing from a full heart. Why? Because they have clean hearts.

There is a big difference between singing because you are rejoicing in the Lord, and singing to get joy. Some Christians go to church every Sunday and sing to get joy. The joy ends when they quit singing because there is uncleanness in their heart.

"How to Be Free from Bitterness" by Jim Wilson

page 13

Milan vs. Juventus

2009-05-10T13:09:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the big Milan vs. Juventus game. It was a little bit of a conflict of interests for us since Nicola plays for Juventus, but I was christened as an AC Milan fan. For this game, it was impossible to get a ticket only 1 month in advance. I will get a season pass next year for my photographic pleasure, but I had to sit this game out. I decided to pass the time by going to the Greenwiches house to borrow Allyson's bike. I wanted to try it out and see if I can handle the Milanese roads on a bike. You aren't allowed to ride it on the sidewalks so you just have to "pretend you are a car" and pray.

ANYWAY, in order to get to Jason and Allyson's, I have to go toward San Siro, which I knew would be crazy. I literally ran 1/2 mile to catch the last tram toward San Siro before they were shut down. (whew!) The trams were stopped at the Piazza before the Stadium and they had a bus taking everyone there. I just followed the crowd, which wasn't as bad as I though it would be. (Probably because it was just a few minutes before the game started so most of the people were already there.)

Here are some videos of the night:

FYI: I am pretty sure that is the alps you see in the background. When it is clear outside you can see them really well. Today wasn't that clear but I think that is them.

Michael's horrible rendition of the Milan song. You will appreciate this, Mael!

Cute :)

Agriturismo!

2009-05-10T00:37:00.001-07:00

This Milan girl wearing her sunglasses on her forehead.

Headed to Galbiate, which is in Northern Italy close to Lake Como.

Gorgeous or what?

Fabrizio's daughter

Love that smile.

We had tons of grilled meat (everything from sausage to ribs) with lots of grilled veggies (eggplant, zucchini, bell peppers), salad, bread, cheese, and fruit.

I bambini

Il cuoco

Eating some grapes.

Davide's son.

Jake wearing a "halter top" while his pants dried. (It was actually Stefano's shirt)

I love how they dress Italian little boys. This one spoke way better Italian than me.

This is a world Charlotte Mason would have loved!

The Scary Thing Is...

2009-05-08T14:48:00.001-07:00

...I think this actually looks cute! Snapped this today coming out of my apartment. Again, had to be discrete, but hopefully you will get the idea! It is knee-high socks with boots, a mini skirt and a tee shirt. Sometimes you see women wearing knee-highs with lace or ribbons on them! I don't think I could go that far...

Ciao, Amica Mia!

2009-05-08T14:05:00.001-07:00

I met Jaime when I came to visit Milan in November. She is from Raleigh and has been a nanny for the Thomas family for the past year. (Jobey Thomas plays for the Milan Basketball team) We instantly clicked when we met and I was so excited to see her again when I moved here! We were able to spend some time together and it was so much fun to have someone from home who is here experiencing Milan with me.

Because of some medical problems, I found out today that she has to leave Milan tomorrow and go back to the States. She just found out today herself. We had one last dinner with her and the Thomas family tonight and it was a very tearful goodbye. It hit too close to home because I had to say the same heart-wrenching goodbyes just over a month ago.

Funny story. Let me give you some background first: Julia calls herself "Ma Yaya" which means "my Julia." When she wants something she says, "Ma Yaya peehah!" (my Julia pizza) or "Ma Yaya go home."

Second piece of background information. Julia can be a little rough with little Joshee. Poor kid usually has scratches and bumps from "Julia lovin'."

So, Julia, who is the mischievous one, has a book of "no no's" and

"yes yes'" that we read to her quite often. In the book, there is a picture of a kid doing something bad (like drawing on the wall) and then a picture of him doing something good (like drawing on the paper.) The hysterical thing is Julia does almost everything in the "no no" pictures... so we are trying to brainwash her through cardboard books. When we read it, I say, "what is this?" and point to the picture. She then points and says strongly, "NO NO!" Well, at the restaurant tonight, when we got to the picture of the little boy hitting his little brother on the head, I said, "what is this??" She replied, "*gasp! Ma Yaya!!"

You probably had to be there...

New Lamps!

2009-05-08T13:47:00.000-07:00

IKEA is a huge chain in Europe that has everything you could possibly need for your home. The best part about it is it is very cheap! I think the prices are way better than Target and their stuff is much nicer. You can so easily get lost in IKEA heaven, which is why I am grateful that it is on the outskirts of the city and I can only go with Allyson in the car! I went when I first moved in and was able to get almost everything I needed for about 100 euro. I went back again a few days ago to get some spice jars (they have GREAT glass jars), candles, and two lamps. I really like what we found. They are brown velvet so it brings some warmth and texture to the room. :)

Ha, above are my Italian books and my Bible... I am praying for the gift of tongues!

Bambini Everywhere!

2009-05-08T13:35:00.000-07:00

The Thomas kids came over because Kristin and Jaime had to make an emergency trip to the hospital. I went over to help Allyson with the 5 kids under the age of 6. While she took Elizabeta and Joshee to get some dinner, I took Jake, Isabella, and Julia to the park.

You know you are in Italy when you walk through a park right beside an elementary school and you see a couple like this one on the bench. They were there when we passed by to get to the park and had not moved when we passed by to leave! The video isn't that great because I was trying not to look like I was recording them!

Here it is at last!

2009-05-01T06:20:00.000-07:00

So sorry it has taken so long to get a video up of my apartment. It has taken a little while for me to get everything ready since I have been out of town so much.

Queen of the Cappuccino!

2009-05-01T06:18:00.000-07:00

Heidi and I decided we like our coffee to look like Taylor. (as far as caffe to latte ratio goes:)